Finding A Different Way

The other morning, while walking my dog, I passed a house and overheard an exchange between a parent and a child. I wasn’t trying to listen, but the yelling was so loud it carried across the street. The mother’s voice rang out with sharp words: “You do not talk that way in this house!” “You better lose that attitude!” and “You are going to lose everything you own tonight!”

At first, I assumed she was speaking to a teenager. But as I glanced over, I saw a little child, no more than six years old, walking down the driveway. Her head was down, and her shoulders slumped as she slowly climbed into the car.

My heart ached. A heaviness settled over me as I replayed the moment in my mind. I couldn’t help but think: We’ve all been there, haven’t we?   I wonder how both of them must have felt in that exchange. Perhaps the mother was overwhelmed, feeling frustration, desperation, or even guilt. And the child? Maybe she felt fear, confusion, or sadness. Whatever their emotions, one thing seemed clear: warmth, connection, and cooperation were missing in that moment.

Then I thought—is the mother even aware there’s a different way?

When Parenting Feels Hard

It’s a bit strange, isn’t it? We step into parenting often without realizing that it doesn’t always come naturally. How we parent is often shaped by how we were parented. Even when we want to break away from patterns we know don’t feel right—like yelling, threatening, or controlling—it can feel almost impossible not to fall back on them.

Why? Because those habits are often all we know, from our childhood.

But what if we had the awareness that those patterns can be changed? What if we understood that we could transform those old ways into something more connected, more compassionate, and more intentional? Wouldn’t we choose that?

Your Different Way

A way to stay present.
A way to focus on building trust and a loving bond.
A way to guide our children with empathy and respect.

For me, this realization didn’t come easily. I had no idea there were other ways to parent. My children knew they were loved—of that, I have no doubt. But looking back, there are things I would have done differently if I had known.

I would have focused more on connection and empathy instead of defaulting to “I’m the parent, you’re the child—just do as I say.” I would have prioritized working on my own emotional wellness earlier so I could better model how to express needs and emotions. I would have adjusted my expectations to align with child development research rather than societal pressures. And, perhaps most importantly, I would have listened more and spoken less.

The Science That Changes Everything

Years ago, concepts like brain science, nervous system regulation, attachment theory, and emotional intelligence weren’t part of the parenting conversation. But now? We have an incredible wealth of research and resources available to us.

Today, we know how a child’s brain develops and how their nervous system responds to stress. We understand the profound impact of secure attachment and how empathy shapes emotional intelligence. We have the tools to shift from parenting out of fear or control to parenting with connection and understanding.

It’s an extraordinary time to be a parent.

An Invitation to Awareness

If these words resonate with you, perhaps they’re the spark of awareness you needed today. Even if you feel confident in your parenting style or think your kids are doing just fine (as I once did!), I encourage you to stay open.

Explore different parenting approaches.
Learn about the science that supports emotional connection and regulation.
Reflect on how you interact with your children.
And don’t be afraid to make changes, even small ones.

Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growing—together with our children. When we allow ourselves to stay curious and open, awareness can guide us toward a path of deeper connection, greater empathy, and a more joyful relationship with our kids.

What’s one way you can change how you interact with your child?

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